uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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