you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
