I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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