note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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