I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
