she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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