he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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