Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
