Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
