We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
