he shaved USA in his pubs
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
