so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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