white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm like, not good at living.
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