I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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