His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
