i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
