Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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