He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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