I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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