we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Someone signed my nipple.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
