So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize