I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Sober January is a disaster.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
