OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize