i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
