I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
