i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
