You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
