community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
