i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
