I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
