I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize