Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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