Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I feel like death gave me a hand job
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
