im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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