my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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