hotel room ftw
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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