my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
