So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
