Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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