dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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