there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
