no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
