I'm so fucking centered right now
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
