So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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