He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
