Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
