thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
