apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
