I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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