Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
