You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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